How To Do The Inner Work By Yourself To Get Rid Of The Same Patterns?

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When contemplating their thoughts and worries, they are advised to go to therapy. While therapy is a great tool to overcome your loneliness and depressive or suicidal thoughts, doing the inner work is in the hands of one’s self only.

Until and unless you are ready to get out of those shitty circumstances, nobody can help you. Your family, friends, and even the counselor can guide you, but you have to decide to visit him.

I know someone who always goes through the same experiences, meets the same kind of people, and always hurts in the same manner. Is this a coincidence? Definitely no!

Nothing in our lives happens by accident. It is your subconscious beliefs that attract such things.

So how can one change that and go over a 360 turn completely? 

By doing the inner work!

What is the inner work?

To become your best and happiest version, you must completely transform your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes. It’s about correcting and readjusting your mentality to support your objectives better. 

Inner work is also a crucial aspect of getting in excellent financial shape. Many people put forth extra effort to acquire jobs and build their career abilities. However, they frequently overlook the internal attitudes essential to individual freedom. 

Many believe doing outside work, like going to work, working out, and caring for kids and family, will result in immediate positive changes. But no change can happen outside unless you do it from the inside.

As noble and valuable as it may appear, the path of inner self-discovery may be packed with danger as it involves recalling unpleasant experiences, accepting complex realities, and learning to forgive oneself and others. The main roadblocks you will often face during your self-journey are limiting beliefs and ego.

You will have to face unpleasant realities when you go on the journey of self-discovery, such as the idea that your external fact reflects your inside condition.

This sets out our idea to learn about another important topic: the law of mirroring!

The Law of Mirroring

Do you often find yourself in the same relationship patterns? 

You keep ending up with the same types of guys who make you feel inferior, do not value you, or even reject you. 

In your relationships, there’s always the “other man” or “other woman.”

You are attracted to emotionally unavailable men and women in general.

You often become attached to people who appear to be excellent companions but become abusive later on.

If all these statements resonate with you, then you must know they mirror your inner beliefs in the form of outside circumstances.

The harsh reality is that only you are responsible for attracting such types of people or situations into your life. This does not imply that you are a terrible person, that you deserve misfortune, or that you are receiving punishment.

This law suggests that our outside world reflects our inner state and is one of the twelve universal principles. The mirror of reality is how we see ourselves—our ideas, feelings, beliefs, and perceptions.

Do the inner work and get rid of negative patterns 

Reading the above paragraph, you may wonder what makes you attract such things or people you don’t want. Possibly, you think you do not deserve the love and care of others or are distancing yourself from them.

Many of us would prefer to avoid acknowledging that we are accountable for everything that happens in our lives. We would rather blame someone else’s behavior or upbringing, or on your cheating spouse, who simply wasn’t able to value you, or on your emotionally distant girlfriend, who made your life miserable. We don’t want to admit that we brought these individuals into our lives.

Inner work helps you release those limiting beliefs about your unworthiness and enables you to heal those parts that have held on to and perpetuated these beliefs. At this stage, doing inner work is never an option but a necessity. It helps you escape victim mode and take on the driver’s seat. 

Internal practice brings the inner blockages hiding in our darkest recesses to light. We could repeatedly find ourselves in the same situations because we have no idea what is happening. By addressing our inner world, intentional self-exploration enables us to transform our external environment.

You can attract loving, compassionate partners if you draw the toxic ones.

Let’s learn how!

Doing the real inner work to address those blockages

Here are some practical ways to do the inner work that will help you change your reality:

  • Do the inner child work:

Your inner child work aims to identify underlying assumptions, wounds, and traumas. To develop loving, healthy relationships with others, self-love is a must. You can locate and end unhealthy patterns that have been holding you in relationships that aren’t optimal by connecting with your inner child. Everybody has a wounded inner child because of bad childhood memories. Woundedness can vary in degrees, but it exists in everyone. It is the self that celebrates childhood, innocence, and wonder. Even seemingly innocent incidents like having your toys taken away from you as a child or more painful ones like emotional, physical, or sexual abuse can easily harm this vulnerable self.

To heal your inner child, you must be ready to ask and address particular questions. Take a look back at your early years. What memories do you have from this period? Even the most ridiculous recollections should be recorded as they come to mind. Try to keep in mind the feelings you had during each of the events you can recall.

Embrace the child within you. To help them feel loved, seen, and supported, you might reach out to them with a heartfelt letter or by repeating encouraging words. You can also practice doing a guided inner child meditation everyday. 

  • Reframe your thoughts by being conscious:

It’s time to list the reasons why you cannot meet your goals. If you’re having financial difficulties, you could think that only knowledgeable people can understand these things. Maybe you find it difficult to make friends because you think other people are superficial. All these limiting beliefs are coming in the way of your happiness and success. 

Whatever you find, it’s critical to recognize and confront these ideas. Acknowledge that no single hue or brushstroke can adequately capture the enormity of the planet. If you begin to search for them, several options become apparent. 

You can redefine negative thoughts into positive ones after ” cleaning” your mental home. Recognize that you are an adult and capable of making your own decisions if your poor self-esteem stems from things your parents said to you when you were younger. As a new way of thinking, develop a mantra like “I am full of potential and am growing every day.” 

  • Journaling:

Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences regularly is called journaling. It is your safe space to jot down what is causing discomfort or vulnerability inside your body. By keeping a journal, you can discover emotional patterns, pinpoint triggers, and understand your mental processes. Write about your hopes, anxieties, and any difficulties you’re having in your day-to-day life. Examine your writings to see any reoccurring themes or potential improvement areas.

Furthermore, it is a tool for introspection and self-expression that extends beyond day-to-day activities. It allows you to explore the depths of your inner self and reveal ideas and beliefs that are hidden from conscious awareness. Examine your entries and note the language you use and any recurring themes. 

Maintaining a regular journaling habit helps you stitch a story through your life, which enables you to see your development, pinpoint areas for improvement, and ultimately promote a better understanding of who you are.

  • Meditation and mindfulness:

Practicing meditation and mindfulness entails focusing only on the present moment. Practicing it regularly teaches you to be objectively aware of your thoughts and feelings. With this knowledge, you may objectively observe your thoughts and recognize the underlying patterns. Developing awareness can benefit from guided meditation, body scans, and deep breathing.

According to a recent study, meditation can help reduce pain, anxiety, and depression— especially during the time of crisis. Also, you’ll become more conscious of your mental processes. You can gradually discover more about yourself thanks to this attention. It can assist you in identifying undesirable habits that are negatively affecting your life and your mood.

As a result of meditation, you can become more self-aware and develop attentive breathing techniques.

  • Gratitude practice:

Gratitude practice is one of the best ways to improve yourself. When you are grateful rather than complaining, you can stop yourself from being resentful of what you lack.

Make an effort to pay attention to the little things that bring you joy and gratitude. With time, you can refine your practice of thankfulness. With practice, it becomes simpler to think of things you are naturally thankful for. This new understanding has the power to improve your life.

Make this a habit of being grateful and writing down ten things you are thankful for every day for at least 21 days. 

  • Therapy and counselling: 

Consulting a therapist or counselor professionally offers a regulated and encouraging setting for introspection. A qualified therapist may lead you through study, assist in seeing trends, and provide coping mechanisms.

Different therapeutic methods meet different needs and preferences. Examples of these modalities include psychoanalysis and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

In case you feel like there is an urgency to go to a psychiatrist, then you must. A professional and expert opinion will always help when you cannot do it yourself.


You must know that doing inner work takes time. Hence, there is no need to rush the process; instead, take small daily steps. Try various techniques to see which ones work best for you. For a more comprehensive inner work experience, think about combining several techniques. You may empower yourself and change your inner life using the suggestions in this essay. Recall that achieving your goals and finding happiness requires more than working long hours, attending classes, or receiving a promotion. These are assignments from outside sources. 

Ultimately, the job you do “internally” will lead to “external rewards.” So start your healing journey now!

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