Do you have this story of repeating the same patterns in every relationship you get into?
Even if you don’t get into a relationship, whenever any new guy or girl enters your life, the adrenaline rush you feel in your body starts to boost up.
And then, after you start talking to them or you are in the initial stage, you begin getting unreliable or unwanted thoughts that you don’t want.
If one day they don’t send you a good morning text, even if you see them online, you start feeling bad. You start feeling unworthy, and then you think about them all day long, chasing them energetically, pushing them away from you.
Your Limiting Beliefs Are a Hurdle For You
“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people as they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.” – Neville Goddard
Neville Goddard, a spiritual teacher who focuses on self-concept as the key to changing your outer reality, suggests in the above quote that changing how you see yourself can transform your external reality.
See others as mirrors of your views rather than trying to change them or waiting for them to contact or phone you. Individuals will react differently to you if you increase your sense of self-worth, which will validate your positive changes. The key is to change inside to have an exterior effect.
Now, you will wonder why I would think or believe the things I don’t want. Well, in reality, no other person can influence your level of happiness and positivity except you.
What are limiting beliefs?
A problem that you are unable to recognize cannot be solved. Meeting the imaginary “right” person won’t solve your love-related problems but will create more unless you resolve them independently.
Love has to be more important to you than your commitment to what you believe. By recognizing your limiting ideas, you may take control of the situation and modify it.
But what are these limiting beliefs, and how do they shape our realities? Let’s find out!
Having a mindset or a certain type of belief in something that restricts you from achieving or manifesting anything is called a limiting belief. These limiting beliefs are false statements, but your mind considers them as real, creating negative effects in your reality.
These beliefs constantly put you in a negative state of mind. Making it difficult for you to experience the life of your dreams and sabotage your relationships with people, money, and other things you truly want.
This is why addressing unconscious prejudices and improving self-awareness and self-esteem is critical.
These beliefs serve as secret architects in love and relationships, influencing how people view and interact with connections. These are firmly held ideas about oneself, love, and the mechanics of interpersonal relationships. They work subconsciously, affecting feelings, thoughts, and actions that eventually shape how a person’s love life unfolds.
These beliefs may come from:
- Early experiences
- Parental teachings
- Societal expectations
- Past traumas
Examples of limiting beliefs related to love
- Fear of abandonment: A deep-seated fear of abandonment or feeling like you will be left alone is the fear of many. The belief that one is undeserving of love might cause one to engage in self-destructive actions, such as pushing people away or avoiding closeness. This fear can be a result of prior events.
- Low self worth: You are not in a relationship when you want to be because you may feel unworthy of love. People may find it difficult to accept love from others. This mindset may show up as looking to others for approval or getting into unhealthy relationships that reinforce unfavorable opinions of oneself.
- Scarcity in love: Some may feel that finding a loveful relationship is hard. Because of their fear, they may either choose to stay in the same toxic relationships or settle for less when looking to find a partner to get married.
- Attracting the wrong ones: If you struggle with the same issues in every relationship, you may believe that you always get the same type of people in your life. Maybe because you get way too attached or start romanticizing your life with them in the first few days of talking, only that it makes you a chaser both energetically and in reality.
- Perfectionism in partnerships: Some have the restrictive mindset that their spouse should be perfect or uphold extremely high standards. This obsession with perfection can destroy the possibility of a happy relationship by making everyone feel unsatisfied because nobody can live up to the high standards set.
- Conditional self love: People have the habit of speaking loudly that they love themselves, but in reality, it’s only dependent. They may equate their value based on the approval they get from their partner. And if their partner does not meet their expectations, they start believing that they are not worthy of love. When one becomes dependent on their romantic partner’s affection and acceptance, they experience this emotional rollercoaster of dependency on external validation.
Overall, there are many examples of limiting beliefs. These are just a few to make you realize where you are going wrong.
How can you get rid of the same story forever?
If you find yourself mostly struggling in the love and relationships zone. Here’s what we recommend to you to get rid of these negative beliefs:
Start writing about your experiences:
The first step in overcoming your negative, limiting beliefs is your self-awareness. You have to be aware that certain things are repetitive, and only you can change them. Spend some time thinking about the past and exploring the intricacies of your inner monologue. Be aware of any negative thought patterns that keep coming up again and might have ingrained themselves into how you view relationships and love. Put these ideas down on paper so you can distill the main ideas of your internal conversation with yourself. For instance, you may observe recurrent thoughts like “I am going to get hurt again” or “he will leave me.” Find out how these beliefs are showing up in your behavior.
Write down your old beliefs:
After identifying the experiences you often face, it’s time to write down the beliefs you have related to this area. Writing these beliefs will enable you to distinguish between fact and fiction and help you realize how false they truly are. You can group them according to categories such as gender, relationships, and family.
It allows you to review the beliefs you wrote down after you’re done without having to think too hard about them. You can then determine which of them are your own limiting beliefs.
Write a new story:
Don’t let your limiting ideas take control of your life if you find yourself talking and behaving in a way you don’t want. It’s time to change the narrative. Whether you believe in affirmations or not, your inner dialogue constantly reaffirms your reality throughout the day. If you tell yourself, “I’m so foolish. “Nothing I try to accomplish is correct.” you are being in your old story. What I want you to do is write a new story. For instance, you can affirm or write where you can see it most of the day, “I am loved, wanted, and chosen” or “Love comes to me easily and effortlessly.”
Fall in love with yourself:
When you neglect yourself and your needs and wait for the other person to pick you up. Send a message that you are not connected with yourself. Instead, embrace every aspect of yourself, flaws and all, and show people why you deserve love. You have to show the outside world and yourself that you are a whole, satisfying, and delectable person on your own. You are the component that makes the cake. Your spouse will be the icing on the cake. But you are a delicious cake, with or without that companion.
It isn’t that you can never get rid of limiting beliefs. Yes, it can take time. How much? It depends on how strong your thoughts are. For some, it takes six months; for others, it can take one year or even more. It all depends on how focused you are on changing your self-concept and your life as a whole.
Follow these tips religiously and you’ll see your life change.
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